HMM. I made no cool college entries so I can't really blog my feelings about starting my second year. Whatevs. Things are cool, roommates and housemates are especially awesome. Classes are good, keeping up with the reading. I can do backflips now, and I try to sing daily. On the up and up. Worried about chinks in the armor and losing my stride, but this is a bright bold beginning. Biggest gripe..martial arts room. Losing practice time is a big loss for me. At this point, I need to work out or I feel like I'm going to get fat. I've been going over the schedule, and there's no time to just go and flip and kick. Sad. Since school started, I haven't been able to sing very much. I hope that I'll be able to sing at random intervals in the day, versus the night. I think that's where I'll figure out my schedule. Last year, I used the night to do all my shit, but this year, I think I'll have to settle for midday or whatever time I can grab. Doesn't matter, because I'll pwn it either way. My roommates into Warcraft and more importantly Diablo, so that's dope as hell. Look foward to playing it again. I feel like everythings going well, but I don't want a straight line for the year. I want some exponential growth or at least, consistent growth. It's alot to ask for, I hope I've gained enough confidence to deal with setbacks. Still, I'm extremely proud of myself for what's coming together this past month. I thank my parents and God for really granting me these chances. I will try not to squander a single one. On a selfish note, I want a new phone. Hahahaha. The seven month itch I suppose, but the X1's dropping soon. 1000 dollar phone? Death. Nothing else on my mind, but yeah "just fine" sums things up pretty well. Let's go for "fucking awesome in every way" now. I know I can do it. Jia you! I seriously believe in myself now. Feels ...amazing.

Mase. Or is it Muse? Can't remember. Time is flying, it's been months since I touched xanga. It never feels that satisfying to blog, probably because I run through what's on my mind too quick to really put down into words. I don't get how some people can really update day to day, is everyday so special? Or are they draining their problems into a space. Anyways..I got motivated to do this by reading someone else's blog, someone I actually respect and would like to get to know more about. He started me on tricks and martial arts in general, and it's funny to see vulnerability and actual feelings come from an idol. Celebrity does funny things to a person. Tricks are going decent anyways, I've just been bboying and flipping, and actually landed my backflip with a spotter. Pretty cool, feels like the mental barriers are breaking down, now I just have to get it on ground. But tackling it every single day, and getting it landed has been hugely rewarding for me. It's proven to me the value of trying and putting your heart into something, because it can definitely pay off. That feeling is something someone else couldn't relate to me, with words. I'm very glad and I hope I can apply that "attacking" attitude to the shit that's coming up next year. Got the apartment, another lifting moment, but I am worried about my roommates. A six person place, and I don't know a single person. I'm more confident than before, but new people still trouble me. Hope that turns out alright. Cooking though! So excited, having control over what I eat is going to keep me healthy next year. Singings going well, I'm not american idol material or anything, but there is some progress. Learning a bit of "Everything" by Michael Buble on piano which is pretty nice too. Nice to have something to focus on and try. Trying new things and staying out of the comfort zone...positive all around. What's on the downturn then? Guitar. I feel bad about this. I bought and paid for it, and yet don't have the motivation to go and pluck away at the strings. I'll give it a try tomm, but it's hard to be disciplined about it without either passion or a learning plan. I'll try to find both. And there's the bit about my job. Not working too much lately, as a seasonal worker, my season is pretty much over. And sadly, the cracks have finally started to show, which probably tells me I should quit soon. I don't want to leave with bad memories. A lot of people have left anyways, it's stunning..the turnaround in this business. Not much else to say, I've really divided and defined myself in my activities, which is ..good and bad I guess. There's still a month and a half left of summer, so I plan on really enjoying it. Oh yeah, went back to wushu. Nothings changed hahaha. Nice to have constants in my life. I could devote pages to how much wushus done for me, but my enthusiasm for it has mostly drained.Blah blah, youtube singers are the shit. I am infatuated.

So loud I don't have to feel anything else than beats. It's such a poison being at home. I can barely stand it anymore. The only times where I feel like I'm accomplishing anything anymore is when I'm out by myself, working or training. When I feel pressure and stress. It's unfortunate, but being outside your comfort zone does really bring about the most maturity in a person. Home is too safe. As much as I love my parents, at this point I would give up almost anything to be away. Everything I'm doing now can be handled by myself for the most part. I'm really having trouble articulating my thoughts, work has just been really exhausting lately. It's more ..keeping a smile on your face for 8 hours then running around the store that makes things so tiring. Music has been moving very slowly, and wushu hasn't even started yet. It's worrying, but I'm out of energy to care. Somewhere along this summer, my heart and the fire that was in it dimmed..alot. If all of us are always climbing towards success, I've just decided to lie back and feel for the bottom. This heat is aggravating, just sucking away all your energy. There are several things I could be practicing or working on now, backflips or my vocals, but something is lacking. The same missing something that prevented me from almost failing out of my first year of college. It;s been rough. Even though my eyes have been looking up at the moon and stars lately..my feet still remain stuck firmly on the ground. No flying.